SUBMISSION GUIDELINES, tongue in cheek
** (SEE NEW SPECS AT THE BOTTOM)
We're mainly looking for narratives of the surreal, absurd, ridiculous. More sentimental, reflective, or overly poetic pieces are not for us. We have enough emotional transom to reflect upon. Tell us what shitted out of your brain while you weren't paying attention after having eaten several rolls of sugar cookie dough. We want your incohesive. Your dreamlike, your ridiculous, bugged, scary, Lynchian, bizarre. We want to be upset not because we don't quite know what to do with your words even though you are speaking in plain english. Ever had something rejected under the premise that it too odd? We want to see it.
It is still important to note however, that there is a fine line of distinction in oddity: that which is done just to be unusual in and of itself, and that which operates off of the undefinable logic underlying real life. It is quite easy to tell the difference, and if you are just shitting around, we'll probably know. Unless it's really good shitting around. ALSO: we're currently desperate for a story involving a woman douching with strawberry lemonade. You can do it.
Additionally, we are also interested in nonprose texts of a humorous or acertain nonfictional essays / rants / top tens etc. But they need to be really good and funny and make us want to read it over and over again before we're done. Infinitely possible, but not as likely to be accepted as a straight-up inventive short story.
Authors
we particularly enjoy include Donald Barthelme, Italo Calvino, William
Burroughs, Cormac McCarthy, David Foster Wallace, Jorge Borges, Steve
Erickson, Kelly Link, Tao Lin, Brian Evenson, Ben Marcus, Barry Hannah,
Gordon Lish, on and on and on.
LENGTH:
As with any other literary website, you should keep your piece shortish
(usually anywhere from 200 to 1800 words is fine). Occasionally longer
pieces might be in order, but really, think about the possibilty of
incurring boredom and thus losing potential consumption. Count the
calories, or something like that.
Anyhow, enough sounding like an asshole. Just send it already.
In an email with a subject containing your piece's title, your name, and a word count, send MS word attachments (or just stick in the body of the mail if its short enough) to: laminationcolony@gmail.com. Please also include a brief 2-3 line bio to be included with the piece.
Be patient with acceptance, we will get back to you. Could be an hour, could be three months. Chill out, man.
We accept and encourage simultaneous submission. If you aren't sending your work to 10 places at once, you'll spend the rest of your life waiting. In fact, we don't not accept simultaneous submissions. If you don't send it elsewhere also, we question your grip on reality.
ADDENUDUM: For upcoming issues we would also like to feature a lot of different things that are in forms no other journal would publish. if you have something odd, something that is unlike 'literature,' something that doesn't quite work but still is nice to read, please send it to me. I am not going to name examples because I want people to send me their strange. Send me stuff you found on your hard drive and forgot about. Send me pictures or drawings or XXX self-portraits or spam folder contents or recordings of yourself arguing with your mom. Make a mess. Come on.